D’abord, ne demander pas moi pourquoi ces phrases délivré en anglais.
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I’m about telling you the pyschologysomething perspective about myself and that’s an uneasy thing to share to public — your analysis of you. Basically, this whole story started when my friend suggested me to surf through a website called 16personalities.com. To be honest, I’ve read a lot of psychology writing, horoscope, etc. And none of them, make me feeling better about myself. Those time were like “yeah, you right. that’s what I am” or “wow, great app. you instantly know me.” Yep, that’s it. Will you feel the same if you reading some explanation about yourself? **
I believe some of us could accept our own-self, but only a few of us have a conciliation with what we are moreover what we were. And I’m the part of the “not-everyone”.
Before getting into what the website said about me and how I see myself, here are some of my issues:
- My social life are not so good eventho people around me said contrary. But i just feel so-not-that-good.
- I’m a paradox. I can be warm and cold, extrovert and introvert, confident and doubtful.
- Anxiety is a part of my life. Depart on midnight to the dawn, I’m conquered by it. Not having a crystal clear about what I’m worry about, I just have this anxiousness on a grand quantity. Haven’t find any cure ‘til now but prevent it by get sleep before midnight.
You see, I know it’s a matter but it was not really a problem for me, before, cause I took them as a common issues youngster have. But this time, a quite different analysis popped out in my head about how I see myself after read the website. Wanna see the result of the test that I took on that website? Here you go:
Can you see how much the turbulent of identity I have? 75% quite conquer, isn’t it? By this, I feel like the website translating my anxieties into phrases. If you are asking me whether this get (more) matter than before — sure it is now. I realised that by capturing my anxieties , I get to know what I’m dealing with. I start to understand what I really have for me — thanks to the website (and credit to my friend who pushed me to do the test).
Protagonist. Never thought someone or something would say it about me. Cause before, I felt like I’m the bad woman all along. But let’s not really being under pressure by the term. This ‘protagonist’ only a classification the website-maker made to simplify the understanding of the participants. I read the following explanations and marked some — that I’ve never able to translate to words — about me:
Never realized that one of reason my social life doesn’t work so well (for me) is having overextend optimism. I just caught up that not everyone have the same blaze within theirselves. AND yea, bless the website. They found the words for me: emotional hypochondria. Not comprehensively understand the meaning but at least my self-image is getting clearer. So this is why it is. Uhm by the way, I got 5 more lackness list of me the website written down for me. Here it is:
Sigh. If before I felt okay moreover nothing about how other’s explanations about me, now’s the contrary. Not so advancing my anxiety but successfully made me feel trapped among the more-specific-explainable-issues. Cause in spite of having myself an enlightenment about me, this website unfortunately attached none of advice in case of suggestions to tackle participant’s lackness. Or maybe this is the perks of it, to leave the tackle-way to the readers, to me. If it so, then lets begin the analysis:
- Emotional Hypochondria = Fix something in myself that isn’t wrong
Uh-huh. Double trouble. I knew this frequently happened but (again) I never realise it — tripping to others plight. I care, but because I care — I cry. This is cliché but a serious yearly issues for me. First. If the problem is on the ‘care’ itself, I can’t do nothing for abolish it. It’s about being human. All I can do is control it. Who should I care of, when should I give this ‘care’, and maybe why should I care. Next, if the problem is on the intensity of the ‘care’, guess I can handle it. I need to calculating how much should it manifested. It just takes me on emphasising the amount of the ‘care’. I need to play on the opacity, calculate it right so it no longer become an addictive fault that could drag myself to the unnecessary trip. That way would help me no longer fixing the un-wrong thing about myself and avoiding the unimportant jaded.
2. Selfless
Tackling this doesn’t mean I need to be selfish. It is not that extreme, right? maybe I just need to take care myself more, before I care about others. I just need this overexertion get rebalance. Care about myself and others, both in proper ways by think twice (or more) about any future action. Think twice of every perspective I can surf, every aftermath might following. The point is: finding the equilibrium of having and giving.
3. Sensitive
Beat the conqueror, control the emotions. Seems overrated but match the reality of human’s, including you and I. Each of us given a different scale of sensitivity and so different requirement of controlling it. I haven’t able to analyse on tackling this one. Quite different with points above, this one I really need to think twice about what should I think. What can I say; what we think triggering what we feel, what we feel triggering what we think. Those both having undeniable reciprocal relation.
4. Fluctuating Self-Esteem
This one no need to tackle but hold for stable. Maybe it’s related with any ideology I have. The basic principle that I posses. I need to find a firmed standard about how I see myself and how much my surrounding can affect my life. I need to always have a quality reconciliation with myself, not blaming myself for things I can’t change of me, and not pressing myself to become someone that not me. One more thing, maybe all I need to focus is continue à droit and focusing the only orientation onto become the best version of me.
5. Struggle to make tough decision
One last thing. As you see in the first screen-capture of the website’s result of me, in the section tactics I have more tendency to judging than to prospecting — eventho they only have slight gap of presentation. But still tho, the 51% of the judging surely affect the way I make a decision. Frequently put value above logic made me harder to decide on do right or do kind. Well, both do right and do kind seems fine, but unfortunately we’re not living in the ideal place which righteousness and kindness can always be done at the same time. Even more than a half situation we face on earth insist us to choose one. be right or be kind.
Feels like I need to do several things. First, get total examine on every situation I’ll have. Second, look deeper in which I should do, right or kind or maybe both. Third, stand on any consequences that came up from a decision I’m about to take. Put more logic instead of emotion. There always be consequences after decision and impact after consequences. Realize that eventho I’ve re-calculate and re-mapping every consequences, life is about possibilities. It could turn wrong moreover turn bad. Fourth, to stop torture myself with regret on every consequences brought by decisions I made. Last, focus on handling the impact of the consequences and prospecting better for the upcoming decision making.
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Voila. If you are reading this, you can take this as a comparative analysis of how we perceive and control ourselves. This thread is also a reminder and encouragement for me and you, that we’re only human beings that continuously growing and learning to recognize ourselves. Sorry if my words kinda hard for you to understand yet hopefully useful! see ya!
